Lena Dunham, Aidy Bryant, and Kathryn Hahn Share Their New Year’s Non-Resolutions


Here at Lenny, we don’t believe in resolutions. Which is to say: we believe in being ourselves. In the spirit of embracing those exuberant, amazing, imperfect selves, we asked our contributors to tell us their non-resolutions for 2016. What’s yours?

**Kathryn Hahn:** I will continue to not be on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc., print out my photos and put them in albums, and cross out to-do lists in my Filofax. And will continue to get shit for it and not give a shit.

** (8)**: My New Year’s non-resolution is to continue never starting on Karl Ove Knausgård’s six autobiographical novels and continue not finishing Donna Tartt’s *Goldfinch.* I also promise myself to continue not doing yoga.

** (9)** **:** In 2016, I am going to continue eating things while in the shower. Don’t knock it ’til you try it.

** (10)** **:** I’m going to keep expanding my definition of “emergency” with this makeup bag I take everywhere stuffed with things I’m positive I may need when I leave the house. It currently contains a Tide pen, sunscreen, a phone charger, a pen that Orlando Bloom once borrowed, and fancy salt.

**Lena Dunham** **:**  In case you’re curious, I resolve not to order salad instead of fries if what I truly want is fries and not having fries will cause me to shove the salad around with my fork and feel sorry for myself and then eat three servings of Tasti-D and take a nap. The fries may, in the end, SAVE me trouble. So I will have my fries. Also, what about a new restaurant policy: fries unless I say otherwise.​

** (4)** **:** I plan to keep speaking up about unequal treatment of women and minorities in tech and business, and about solutions. Because it’s going to take all of us working together to get companies to change. It’s my story, your story, data, and research that will convince people to do the hard work to make our workplaces fair.

** (5)** **:** (1) I resolve to continue to buy adorable, clever jewelry and promptly forget it exists and never ever wear it, so that I may shamble through 2016 accessory-less. (2) I resolve to keep doing jigsaw puzzles because they are better than any anxiety medication, and also to keep putting them back into the box and leaving them outside my house with a note offering them to strangers.

** (1)** **:** I’m sticking with AOL for my email. YES, I know Gmail is free and has fancy apps or whatever. But I love hearing “You’ve got mail.” I’ve loved it for 20 years.

(11) **:** My New Year’s non-resolution is to keep being radically obsessed with my blackness, fatness, and belief that I am worthy of deep and abiding love in all of its forms.

(6) **:** I will continue not finishing *Infinite Jest,* so long as I shall live.

**Ericka Naegle:** In 2016, I will hold firmly on to my personal aversion to yoga.

** (2)** **:** My mantra for 2016: I will destroy the world with my sentences.

**Kendra James:** I resolve to continue alienating my nearest and dearest with my inability to speak of anything but my love of the musical *Hamilton,* how *Hamilton* has changed my life, the correct way to listen to *Hamilton* (alone, with wine, sobbing simultaneously at Act Two and your lack of accomplishment as compared with Lin-Manuel), and why falling three months behind in student-loan payments in order to see *Hamilton* again is definitely a smart choice that a responsible, pragmatic adult would make.

** (3)** **:** I will continue to curse with the thoughtful intentionality of Julia Louis-Dreyfus in *Veep.* To do otherwise would mean conforming to gender stereotypes around what is “proper” and “ladylike” for a professional woman. And, well, fuck that.

(12): I will continue to do absolutely nothing during the weekends.

(13) **:** In 2015, I stopped shaving my armpits. In 2016, I will continue to let that shit grow and look groovy. But actually, I might decide I don’t like it anymore (it has been kinda itchy tbh) and shave. That’s cool too.

(14): At the end of the summer, I asked my husband to make me a new Twitter password and not tell me what it is. He is allowed to kindly and briefly reply on my behalf to nice tweets from strangers and also tweet at people whose contact information I need for work, but that’s it. This system shall remain in place in 2016. It was developed in response to the realization, made earlier in the year, that I was moderately annoyed all the time and that the culprit was in large part Twitter. Annoyance is possibly the least generative emotion — blind rage is far better — and I wanted to excise it from my life, so I did. It worked: no longer am I constantly irritated with the personae of people whose very existence I shouldn’t even be aware of. You are what you think about, after all.

(7) **:** (1) I’m going to keep accidentally sleeping in makeup and then wearing it the next day. I woke up like this … and then fixed it a little, and now I’m gonna live my damn life. (2) This is not just for 2016, this is a lifelong non-resolution, but I will never, ever stop ordering a grilled cheese on Seamless, which I could VERY easily make myself. Hate on, haters.

**Dianca London:** I will continue to pay the membership fee for a gym that I haven’t gone to since fall 2014, and I will continue to talk to my cats as if they are certified therapists.

1) (https://twitter.com/jazzedloon)
2) (http://meltzer.tumblr.com)
3) (http://www.ashleycford.net)
4) (http://twitter.com/geometricsleep)
5) (https://twitter.com/collier)
6) (http://alicegregory.tumblr.com)
7) (http://jowitabydlowska.com)
8) (http://jamiattenberg.com/site/)
9) (http://imanentrepreneurbitch.com/blog/)
10) (http://katielowes.com)
11) (https://twitter.com/ekp)
12) (http://www.jessicagrose.com)
13) (https://twitter.com/aidybryant)
14) (http://emilyvgordon.tumblr.com)