*(February 19 to March 20)*
Each month, I like to remind one of the signs that truly no one has any more idea of what the fuck is going on here on earth than they do. This month, your birthday month, I’m telling it to you, Pisces, because the freedom to stop compulsively looking outside of yourself for THE THING is a juicy gift.
*(March 21 to April 19)*
THERE but for the grace of God go you, boo. Another way to say this is, if you spot it, you got it. Another way to say this is, *judge not lest ye be judged* . Another way to say this is, maybe try taking a break from gossiping this month — and if you find that you can’t, take a look at what you find so interesting about the person you’re talking shit about.
*(April 20 to May 20)*
In order to help another person, they have to be ready to be helped. I know it’s tempting when you think you have the answer for someone else’s problems (and maybe you actually do), but until they are ready to receive, it’s no answer at all.
*(May 21 to June 20)*
One thing that’s crazy is you can’t get permanent emotional security from another human being. Another thing that’s crazy is no other human being can rely on you for permanent emotional security. Mourn the illusion that you ever could, and then maybe move on to the things we can actually give and get from each other.
*(June 21 to July 22)*
In the musical *Hair* (my fav), there is a song called “Easy to Be Hard” in which a character named Sheila questions another character, Berger, for his ability to care about “the bleeding crowd,” strangers and social injustice, while being unkind to “a needing friend.” Remember this month that kindness to those close to us can be equally as noble as fighting the big fight.
*(July 23 to August 22)*
If you’ve been trying to decide whether you are or are not a particular thing, my advice is to stop using your mind to do it. You don’t have to grip every thought that comes in and cross-examine it. What you need, in order to find your answer, is an open mind with the air blowing through it, so that the answer can just gently land.
*(August 23 to September 22)*
Do you ever feel really sexy when you’re at home and then you go out and suddenly feel like you are totally butt? You haven’t gotten uglier. You’re comparing and despairing. I’m not saying don’t do this, because comparison seems to be a human trait. But you should know that that’s what’s going on and that it’s an illusion, because pretty much everyone you compare yourself to feels less than someone else.
*(September 23 to October 22)*
Have you ever reached a place that you thought was the end of your life, and, having no choice, you were forced to surrender … only to realize this was actually the beginning? If you haven’t, it’s good shit. I highly recommend it! And if you have, maybe you can try surrendering something else without needing a disaster to do it.
*(October 23 to November 21)*
In the prayer of Saint Francis, there’s a line that it is better “to understand than to be understood.” I’m not a Catholic, but I know that this is one of the few ways to get over being completely annoyed at multiple members of humanity. I may never understand fully why others feel the way they do — politically, culturally, socially — but an attempt to understand other viewpoints may actually be less crazy-making than trying to make someone else comprehend what they will never comprehend.
*(November 22 to December 21)*
A gentle reminder this month that forgiveness is not for the person we are forgiving but a tool to free ourselves from the pain of having to hold on to a resentment. If something feels heavy as fuck right now, consider being open to at least the possibility of forgiveness.
*(December 22 to January 19)*
The bad news is that you are going to die, and the good news is that you are going to die — not now (don’t worry, this isn’t that kind of horoscope) but at some point. Much of our work is learning to live with that knowledge in a way that benefits our lives. If you haven’t already, this month would be a good time to begin doing that work.
*(January 20 to February 18)*
Sometimes, when we’re feeling particularly insecure or vulnerable, it’s easy to forget that other humans are grappling with the same essential things. None of us is immune to financial insecurity, romantic insecurity, emotional insecurity, or fears around ambition. We don’t all go through the same things at the same times, but the human experience comes for all of us at some point, like it or not.
*Melissa Broder is the author of four collections of poems, including* Last Sext *(Tin House 2016), as well as* So Sad Today, *a book of essays from Grand Central.*