“This Month, Try to Savor All the Cracks”


*(April 20 to May 20)*
Happy birthday, Taurus, my favorite sign of the zodiac (don’t tell the others). This month, pay attention to any and all purple flowers. They are a present for you, a totem to tether you in this moment and let you know you don’t have to worry about any other shit. You can put some purple flowers in your house, but better yet is just to spot them growing on a bush or in a painting, on TV, or in a pop-up ad. 

*(May 21 to June 20)*
In America, we love to want things because wanting provides us with the dream of filling the empty spaces, of finally becoming a whole person. But wholeness and the way we frame it as something to be purchased, achieved, or obtained can be damaging to our experience of the perfectly imperfect. This month, try to savor all the cracks.

*(June 21 to July 22)*
Vampires exist. Haven’t you ever met someone who is only looking out for what they can get? Zombies exist. A lot of them work in offices and say things like “Let’s unpack this” and “This changes everything.” If you were a spooky creature, what would you be? Do you like this quality about yourself?

*(July 23 to August 22)*
Sometimes we ignore our disappointments in love, career, or life in general because we don’t want to let them affect us. It’s like, “If I don’t acknowledge the impact this has on me, then it isn’t happening.” This month, go deep into what disappoints you and really mourn those losses. You can do this by writing a letter to God, the universe, or even the passing of time about how angry you are. Don’t worry, the universe can take it.

*(August 23 to September 22)*
A few years ago, I channeled all my anxiety into buying crystals. I kept purchasing more and more, feeling like if I could just get the right one or arrange them in the perfect way, then something good (I’m not sure what) would happen. We love to buy stuff for the magic potentiality of it, but when we get it home, it usually just becomes more crap. This month, avoid assigning magical qualities to any objects. Focus on the freedom of obtaining nothing.

*(September 23 to October 22)*
OK, Libra, we’re going to get a little woo-woo. If you haven’t already figured it out, miracles totally do happen. But the place where faith in miracles comes from is not your mind, or even your heart, but your gut. This month, strengthen your core by aligning yourself with the third chakra — as symbolized by the color yellow. Wear yellow clothing, get a yellow mani, and eat squash, bananas, and Kraft macaroni and cheese. That shit is still delicious.

*(October 23 to November 21)*
This month, don’t worry about what is going to last. In fact, focus on the opposite. Dig deeper into what is here now, and how every ephemeral moment is, in its way, eternal, simply because it has happened.

*(November 22 to December 21)*
Remember the first time your parents let you do new shit alone, like explore a new city, stay home by yourself, or drive somewhere with just a friend? It would be cool if life was still like that sometimes. How can you make life feel like that? What’s the difference between the first time and now?

*(December 22 to January 19)*
Happiness is such an elusive thing because of the ideas we are sold on: just one more accomplishment, one more relationship, and we will be happy. This drive is mostly a set-up made to sell things, but it plugs into something fundamental in the human spirit. We do enjoy longing for things, perhaps as much as, if not more than, the actual acquiring. This month, allow yourself to really revel in the experience of wanting. 

*(January 20 to February 18)*
If you don’t feel like smiling, do not feel pressured to smile. In fact, all this month, notice how often you do things out of a feeling that you should be doing them, rather than an inward desire. Ask yourself: How many of those performances are necessary?

*(February 19 to March 20)*
There is an old adage that says “When you feel far from God, ask yourself who moved.” This is totally applicable for agnostics and atheists, and in fact, I prefer it as “When you feel far from your highest self, ask yourself who moved.”

*(March 21 to April 19)*
This month, relieve yourself of the notion that people care whether or not you know the answer. Invest in the idea that people actually enjoy teaching you. No one expects you to know everything. An openness to new knowledge is actually sexier than having it all figured out.

*Melissa Broder is the author of the novel* The Pisces (*Hogarth), out now!; four collections of poems, including* Last Sext *(Tin House 2016); and* So Sad Today, *a book of essays from Grand Central*.