September Horoscopes Are Here


_(August 23 to September 22)_
Happy birthday, Virgo! The other day I decided that this is the year of not doing shit I don’t want to do, and it starts now. As a Virgo, this is a scary prospect, because we often fear that we are not enough or that we will let people down. But it’s OK, and even great, for us to err on the side of not overextending ourselves. Wanna join me?

_(September 23 to October 22)_
If you’ve been engaged in a practice that has been benefitting your life, don’t stop doing it. So often we create a good habit or pattern for ourselves and then, when our life gets better, we think that we don’t need it anymore. But it’s the opposite that’s actually true.

_(October 23 to November 21)_
This month, try to spend some time with other people’s pets. Even if you have your own pets, make sure you chill with a few new animal friends. See if they have anything to teach you about living in this very second.

_(November 22 to December 21)_
I’m dictating this horoscope in my car, which is often the way I write, as I drive by a line of palm trees in silhouette against an evening sky that is practically silver. It just dawned on me that I often live in a fast, consumptive way that could lead me to miss my entire life. Just felt like I should share.

_(December 22 to January 19)_
It’s not our feelings that are so painful, but our thoughts about our feelings: the fear and the self-judgment, the idea that we should be farther along somehow. This month, practice just leaving your feelings alone, and see if you are more or less tortured.

_(January 20 to February 18)_
The solutions we need are always inside us, never an outside fix, but at some points in our lives this becomes more apparent than others. If you find that some of your old coping mechanisms are no longer working, try to avoid replacing them with more external shit. Maybe see what happens when you just put them down for a minute.

_(February 19 to March 20)_
Sometimes we hear a voice whispering in our ear that says, “Things are the way they are, facts are facts, the world is exactly this way.” Then we turn around and there’s no one there. This month, take a moment to examine which ghosts are talking to you. Are they even right?

_(March 21 to April 19)_
If you find yourself pushing something away that you no longer want in your life but it just doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, try talking to it instead. Maybe ask it what it wants, or if it is trying to teach you something.

_(April 20 to May 20)_
People say “Fuck the haters” or “Who cares what others think” like it’s so easy to let go. Trust me, I know it isn’t easy. Expecting to be free of perceived judgments in all areas is a little grandiose. But what if you just practice letting go of others’ opinions in just one area?

_(May 21 to June 20)_
This month, practice knowing way less than you think you do. Not only will the others in your life find it a relief, but you might really enjoy this openness, too.

_(June 21 to July 22)_
Impostor syndrome is so natural for many of us. We feel like kids inside, or frauds, and like the world is going to find out we don’t know anything — even if we actually do know what we’re doing. One helpful thing to remember is that the people whose judgment we fear probably also feel like kids in some ways, too.

_(July 23 to August 22)_
This month, every time you compare yourself to someone else — whether it’s on Instagram or on the street, an old friend or a colleague — say to yourself, “I’m so blessed.” That’s it.

*Melissa Broder is the author of the novel* (1) *(Hogarth), out now!, and four collections of poems, including* Last Sext *(Tin House, 2016) and* So Sad Today, *a book of essays from Grand Central.*

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